Dear Mister kitten...
kitten   May 23, 2007

Since many of my users love to use the phrase "please advise", "pls advise", or other variations thereof, I thought an actual advice column would help clear up some of the most common problems. With the exception of the salutation, not one word is edited, and nothing abridged, save for personally identifying information, as is per policy here at "Dear Mr kitten".

Dear Mr kitten,

I tried to upload recordings but I only got errors during the attempt to upload. Please advise.

Thank you for writing, "Confused". Of course, your question touches on some of the most basic issues of our time, along with all of the associated hopes and fears that go along with uncertainty. Errors will occur from time to time, and though they test our patience, the manner in which we overcome them, and learn from them, is a mark of our personal growth.

Dear Mr kitten,

Why they didn'tt start earlier!!!!!!!!! Why you notify me just now????????? This is over 1 month already in your hands!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for your letter, "Concerned". I know that situations like this can be trying for both you and your family. The most polite way notify your neighbor about a delicate situation like this is to write a courteous, hand-written letter, and drop it in your neighbor's mailbox. I suggest you start now, as the sooner your neighbor is made aware of this, the sooner it will be resolved. You don't want this to go on for another month.

Dear Mr kitten,

Is it working yet?

Dear "At Wit's End",

You really need to take a step back and think about how your actions reflect upon your grandfather's memory. The frustration you must be feeling about whether it is working or not is not met without sympathy, but your attempts to drag down everyone along with you is not going to help matters. Take a deep breath and consider what your grandfather would want if he could tell you.

Dear Mr kitten,

How do I adjust my clock
Please help

Dear "Mystified",

My sincerest condolences on the news of your illness. I know it is a cold comfort, but your "clock" is ticking the same as everyone's and it is part of what makes us human. By learning from these trials and incorporating them into our experience, we become stronger. My prayers will be with you in the months to come.

Dear Mr kitten,

What is the status?

This has been oaver 1 week now without a resolution.

Please advise asap! Thx.

Thank you for writing, "Smiling". It's always good to be advised on the status. Stories like this will surely bring a note of good cheer into the lives of today's readers!

Dear Mr kitten,


"Mystified", the concern in your letter is evident, but the truth is, you cannot do any good by contacting your child's teacher about the phone. Although many schools have a policy against cellphone use in the classroom, the teacher's remarks were out of line. The principal of the school should be made aware of the situation, and if necessary, notify the superintendent by phone or mail. Please write back and let me know how it turns out for you.

Dear Mr kitten,

How do I do it from the office?

How do I do it remotely?

Dear "Overjoyed",

Indeed, such questions are part of the mysteries of life, and I cannot promise they will be answered during your journey on this mortal coil, but do not let that dissuade you from trying to seek whatever truth fits you the best.

Dear Mr kitten,

OK ... been on hold for over an hour now. I charge $250.00 / hr for my time... where should I send the bill?

Thanks for your letter, "Serious". I know your time is valuable, as is everyone's.Therefore, I think you would be better contacting the service garage directly and letting them know of the mechanic's rude behavior. Do not attempt to discuss this with the mechanic himself, as he may perceive it as an attack and that is a situation in which you probably do not wish to find yourself.

Dear Mr kitten,

Even though it's set up in the system to be notified. Please explain.

Dear "Mortified",

Unfortunately, even Mr kitten is at a loss for explanations sometimes! While your letter does address the heart of the matter, sometimes the best we can do is hope. My thoughts will be with you on your journey.

Dear Mr kitten,

There was an error while storing your file. Please contact support.

Thanks for writing, "Sincere". The truth is, sometimes people will not be receptive to our advances, no matter how sincere our intentions. I recommend you back off for a few weeks until her circumstances are more under control, and trying again, taking her comments about your file into consideration. Her reactions to you in this difficult time may not be a reflection of her feelings for you.

Well, that's all the time we have today at "Dear Mr kitten". Stay tuned for next week's column, and blessed be.

kitten   May 16, 2007

In the past couple of days I've put three more hours' of music into the mix, and as I'm writing this I'm watching the progress bar move -- so damn slowly -- on the upload of another two hours' worth of some excellent tracks from Assemblage 23's recent album Meta, a nice selection of songs from SITD's discography, a few from Fictional, and assorted singles from others too numerous to list. Share and enjoy.

In the next few days, I'll have what I should have had long ago -- namely, a "currently playing" notation so you can know what you're getting into before you tune in. Just a minor detail, but one I think will be nice, so keep an eye out.