I was feeling particularly bored today; such is the usual course of events. If I didn't have to give breakfast to Molly I probably wouldn't bother waking up on the weekends.
At least the weather is okay. For once. Most people hate this kind of weather - it's about seventy degrees out, totally overcast and melancholy and if it were just a bit colder out, I'd almost say I feel good about it.
Unfortunately, the mercury is going to soar back to eighty fucking degrees and higher for the rest of the week and probably not abate until, oh.. September.
Everything's gone green. I'm more a winter and autumn person, myself - when everything is either dying or dead.
Do I sound goth? Perhaps. I tested my gothness the other day by consuming three cans of Red Bull energy drink. I did not grow wings.
As I suspected, the lord of darkness cannot grow wings.
I've got the door to the balcony wide open providing a decent view of the forest beyond the parking lot. I've no idea how far back these woods extend, but the effect, from this viewpoint, is quite nice.
So I decide that to alleviate some of my terminal boredom and stress I'm going to go shoot things.
I take my little BB pistol and ammo into the woods, load a clip of BBs and a fresh CO2 cartidge, and take aim at a tree off in the distance.
The millisecond I flick off the safety and start to squeeze the trigger, I hear the high-pitched squealing of three or four little brats running around in the parking lot. So I wait - it's only a BB gun, sure, but it's damn loud, and looks very much like a Walther PPK. The last thing I need is for these shits to go running to mommy saying there's some lunatic dressed in black in the woods waving a gun around.
So I wait a few seconds and they're all still screaming at each other and then they start slamming a car door. Repeatdly. Over and over and over and over. And over.
"HAHA HA HA AAAAAAEEE!!" SLAM! SLAM! "EEEAAAAAHHH!!!" SLAM! "AAAHHHHHHH!!" SLAM! SLAM! SLAM!And how did they open the car door? Well, apparently they've got the little remote unlocker-clicky-alarm thing, so now they're playing with that, too.
"AAAHHEEEE!!" SLAM! HONK BEEP! SLAM! HONK "HAAAAAIIIIIEEE!!" BEEP HONK SLAM! SLAM!I hardly need to rehash here my utter loathing and black hatred of children.
But c'mon. Isn't it interesting how they chose to do this - obviously just to annoy me - during the one time I'm holding a goddamned gun? Just a BB gun to be sure, but it happens to be a rather powerful BB gun. It can break glass from a distance - I have no doubt it could inflict serious injury on small children.
And once I thought about it, I'm deep enough in the woods that they can't see me, and I'm somewhat camoflauged from wearing black.. but I can see them. Have a nice clear shot, too..
Fate tempts me sometimes.
Fortunately, Jesus was With Me Always so I shot him instead.