From days long ago.. from uncharted regions of the universe.. comes a legend.
The legend of Voltron, Defender of the Universe.
A mighty robot, loved by good.. feared by evil.
As Voltron's legend grew, peace settled throughout the galaxy. On planet Earth, a Galaxy Alliance was formed. Together with the good planets of the solar system, they maintained peace throughout the universe..
..until a horrible new menace threatened the galaxy.
Voltron was needed once more.
This is the story of a super force of space explorers: specially trained, and sent by the Alliance, to bring back Voltron - Defender of the Universe.
It has come to my attention that not everyone is aware of the Voltron phenomenon. If you count yourself among them, read on:
Voltron was an anime-style cartoon from the early and mid eighties - although it bears little resembelence to what we would call anime today.
It told the story of five space explorers: Keith, the leader; Pidge, the boy genius; Lance, who was a lot like Friends' Chandler; Hank, the frat boy; and Sven, the roguish foreigner.
Every week, the bad guy - the same bad guy every time - would dispatch a robot monster to the planet of the space explorers (which, apparently, is Earth, but it's hard to say). These monsters were cleverly called Ro-Beasts.
Anyway, every time the monster showed up, the Voltron Force would jump into their respective robot lions - one for each team member, in various colors. They would take the lions and go fight the monster and invariably get their asses kicked all over the map.
Then one of them would say "We need Voltron!"
So the lions would go rocketing off into space - for some reason, this process could never take place at ground level where it would make sense - and the following speech would ensue:
This was accompanied by the same stock footage - every week - of the lions connecting with each other, folding this way and that, to form a giant robot named Voltron. Forming Voltron involved lots of lightning bolts, for some unexplained reason - lightning bolts in space, mind you.
"Time to form Voltron!
Megathrusters are go!"
At any rate, Voltron would then fight the monster for a while, and get his ass kicked too. Then someone would utter the magic phrase:
"Form Blazing Sword!"
And just like that, Voltron put his hands together, and then pulled them apart to reveal a sword. Voltron - still piloted by the individual team members of the lions, somehow - would then slash the monster to bits, usually in super slo-mo. The monster would emit a hideous shriek and explode.
That was the show. I watched this show religiously when I was little and I cannot recall a single episode that deviated - even slightly - from this plot. Same bad guy every time, then the lions get kicked around, then Voltron gets kicked around, then Voltron uses the sword. The only difference each week was the monster. Sometimes there were more than one monster, but usually not.
God, Voltron kicked ass. I loved that show.
I wonder if I can find it anywhere today. I'd like to have a few episodes.
..or maybe I could just get one episode and watch it over and over and over, since that's tantamount to owning the entire series anyway.