"That which is overdesigned, too highly specific, anticipates outcome; the anticipation of outcome guarantees, if not failure, the absence of grace."
-- William Gibson, All Tomorrow's Parties
September 7, 2004

Well here is me on tragedy
I always want what's out of reach
She pulls dyed black hair back and sighs
fuck that night out with the guys
I never get a word in with them, anyway.
The telephone doesn't scare me anymore
you're home
And I am here alone
my dear
Always stupidly sarcastic
my hyper - spastic superhero girl.

So break the bruised monogamy
and let him fade to memory
And your erotic wet atomic eyes
keep reoccuring in my mind
Do me a favor please
and touch your lips to mine.

The telephone doesn't scare me anymore
you're home
And I am here alone my dear
Always stupidly sarcastic
my hyper - spastic superhero girl.

Eve6

September 15, 2004

Sister Soul came to see me, and she made no amends
On the air, Sunday's midnight, Sister Soul understands

Pull the shades, let it rain all day
Radio station plays Mr. John Coltrane's Favourite Things
Lady Day she sings
That I don't stand the ghost of a chance with you

Beautiful stranger, now it's just me and you
Brush the dust off the needle, put it deep in the groove

Pull the shades, let it rain all day
Radio station plays Mr. Miles Davis' kind of Blue
And I know it's true
That I don't stand the ghost of a chance with you

Cold and gray, it's gonna rain all day
Sarah Vaughan lingers on, but the black coffee's gone
And I hate to say goodbye
But I don't stand the ghost of a chance with you now
With you now, with you now, with you now,

Primitive Radio Gods

September 27, 2004

I am a little bit of loneliness a little bit of disregard
Handful of complaints but I can't help the fact that everybody can see
these scars
I am what I want you to want what I want you to feel
But it's like no matter what I do, I can't convince you, to just believe
this is real
So I let go, watching you, turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I'm not
But I'll be here cause you want what I've got

I am a little bit insecure a little unconfident
Cause you don't understand I do what I can but sometimes I don't make
sense
I say what you never wanna say but I've never had a doubt
It's like no matter what I do I can't convince you for once just to hear
me out
So I let go watching you turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I'm not
But I'll be here 'cause you're all that I've got

I can't feel
I won't be ignored
Time won't heal
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored

Linkin Park

October 4, 2004

Exit 8
Small cafe
Georgia moonlight
It's three a.m.
I've been driving all night
Got a funny air
Red-brown hair
In the porch light
She said 'We're open all night
So won't you come inside
It's gonna be all right'
She said tired
I said I'm a little bit unstable
She said 'Honey, I will help you if I'm able
There's a bottle of relief upon the table
And we're open all night
So won't you come inside
It's gonna be all right'
She said 'I was born the year the rockets landed
Circa 1969 and I got stranded
Yeah, but the comet's getting close
And I can't stand it.'
She said 'We're open all night
So won't you come inside
Exit A
Small cafe
Smoke at three
Georgia moonlight
It's eight a.m.
I've been drinking all night
And there is nothing I will not do to make it all right
She said 'We're open all night
So won't you come inside
It's gonna be all right'

Counting Crows

October 11, 2004


She seemed dressed in all of me, stretched across my shame
All the torment and the pain
Leaked through the cover in me
I'd do anything to have her to myself
Just to have her for myself
Now I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do when she makes me sad

She is everything to me
The unrequited dream
A song that no one sings
The unattainable, she's a myth that I have to believe in
All I need to make it real is one more reason
I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do when she makes me sad

But I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me

A catch in my throat
Choke, torn into pieces
No, I dont want to be this

But I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me

She isn't real
I can't make her real
She isn't real
I can't make her real

Slipknot

November 4, 2004

It already started in the city
Suburbia will be just as easy


APC, Let's Have A War

November 9, 2004

Sleeping through the evening singing dreams inside my head
I'm heading out I've got some ins who say they care and they just might
I run away with you if things don't go as planned
Planning big could be a gamble I've already rolled the dice
I spit and stutter stuff and clutter worries in my worried corner
Maladjusted just untrusted rusted sometimes brilliant busted thoughts
Think I'll stay for a while I'm intrigued and I'm red as a newborn white as a corpse

I promise not to try not to fuck with your mind
Promise not to mind if you go your way and I go mine
Promise not to lie if I'm looking you straight in the eye
Promise not to try not to let you down

I am elated I am all smiles and dated in my man bites dog town with a Spanish name
I am all bone I am two tone red as a newborn white as a corpse

I promise not to try not to fuck with your mind
Promise not to mind if you go your way and I go mine
Promise not to lie if I'm looking you straight in the eye
Promise not to try not to let you down

Why you gotta keep the fan on high when it's cold outside
Just want to let you know that I'm still a fan, get it?
Everybody wants charm and a smile and a promise
I promise not to try

I promise not to try not to fuck with your mind
Promise not to mind if you go your way and I go mine
Promise not to lie if I'm looking you straight in the eye
I promise not to try not to not to not to leave


Eve6

November 11, 2004

dream you
find you
taste you
fuck you
use you
scar you
break you
lose me
hate me
smash me
erase me

Nine Inch Nails

November 15, 2004

Let it slide
overhead
when I believe in you
my soul can rest

But our love
it's really love
it never fades
but fade it does

When we shine
like the sun
you seem the only one
my only friend

So pretty in white
pretty when you're faithful
so pretty in white
pretty when you're faithful
when you're faithful

I resigned
from myself
took a break
was someone else

It's like I've come undone
and I've only just become
inflatable for you
I don't mind
most of the time
but you push me so
far inside


Bush

December 12, 2004

People you know try to tell you things
Bad things that you don't want to know about
Tell you tomorrow what you did today
Just remember, it's a small town
It's a real small town
She gets tired of all the stupid boys
She can't wait until they're done
She wants a man who can take his time
She wants someone who can make her come
Yeah, can you make me come
You always say you want a simple life
You and me both know that you are a liar
You always say you want a simple life
Hearing you talk just makes me tired
Swim in the heavy water
Buried in the sand
Happy hearts fall from my shaky hands
I can't hide my sexual life
He always says he wants to find a special one
But you watch his head go spinning around
He really wants anyone who'll give it up
He seems to forget he's in a small town
You always say you never fuck around
You say this town is just plain full of liars
Yeah you always say you never fuck around
Hey, hearing you talk just makes me tired
Swimming in the heavy water
Buried in the sand
Happy hearts fall from my stupid hands
I can't hide my sexual life
My sexual life


Everclear

April 17, 2005

Congratulations, you have won.
You fought off calling me for a
whole year to prove your point.
But I'm tired of shouting out in the night.
My pride is packed away and I
I apologize for being cruel
when I should have been kind.
I'll be right by.
We'll be so happy together tonight.
I apologize for being cruel
when I should have been kind.
I'll be right by.
And we'll be happy together tonight.
You found a garter belt on my nose.
I warned you.
My cyrano similarities
lose touch wehen I drink too much.
Bye-bye, I kiss the bottle good-bye, forever.
I know it's made a fool of me,
I'll try to reconcile.
I apologize for being cruel
when I could have been kind.
I'll be right by.
We'll be so happy together tonight.
I apologize!
I apologize for being cruel
when I could have been kind.
I'll be right by.
We'll be so happy together tonight.
I apologize for being cruel
when I could have been kind.
I'll be right by.
and we'll be happy together tonight.

--Prick

April 30, 2005

There was a time when I could say it right to you
that I was never going to leave this place
but now its "I was wrong"
and "I don't wanna fucking talk about it"
cause it feels like things have changed
Yeah well I could talk, talk, talk
and say I'm wrong, wrong, wrong
but I feel I'm in a place I've never known
and it feels like there's something wrong,
something wrong, something wrong
and I know that I don't wanna know...
I'm never going back again
there was a time when I would say I must be crazy
that I would say this place is looking strange
but now its "I'm kinda lost" and "I just don't remember"
because things never stay the same...yeah, well I could talk, talk...

-- Less Than Jake

May 20, 2005

Out of my depth
Lost in the air
Falling faster
Like a broken elevator

Out of my depth
Lost in the dark
Waiting for that other shoe
To come down hard

I cannot communicate
Like I wish I could
I do not deal with my problems
Like I know I should

I am out of my depth
I am out of my league
Watching everything
Just slip away from me

Something bad is going to happen
I can feel it deep inside
There are shadows all around me
Like a bad moon on the rise

I am in over my head
I am in too deep here
Over my head
I guess I should keep my opinions to myself
I guess I am out of my depth

Out of my depth
Right from the start
I feel like I was born
With an invisible heart
Out of my depth
Seems like everyday
I can't find the words
To make the good things come my way

-- Everclear

June 15, 2005

I've got no home in this world
Just gravity
Luck and time

I've got no hope in this world
Just you
And you are not mine

Stateless
Faithless
Stateless

There are no colors in your eyes
There's no sunshine in your skies
There's no race, only the prize
There is no tomorrow, only tonight

Stateless
It's the difference

You can cover the world with your thumb
Still so big, so bright, so beautiful

Faithless
Stateless

Push...down on me
Push...down on me
Push...your weight down
Your weight...down on me
Your weight (down on me)
When your weight falls...down on me
Be the heavy hand
The mortal sand
Be the weight, heart, down on me

Stateless
Faithless
Hey bliss

U2

June 16, 2005

Residents Evacuate Homes Around Crash Site

Pretty nuts. Nothing like that ever happened in the decade plus I was living there. The article doesn't state why the jet went down, either, though one of the witnesses states it appeared the pilot did everything he could to get the fighter into an open area.

Pretty wack.

Arizona Republic article.

June 19, 2005

Sometimes when this place gets kind of empty,
Sound of their breath fades with the light.
I think about the loveless fascination,
Under the Milky Way tonight.
Lower the curtain down in Memphis,
Lower the curtain down all right.
I got no time for private consultation,
Under the Milky Way tonight.
Wish I knew what you were looking for.
Might have known what you would find.
Wish I knew what you were looking for.
Might have known what you would find.
And it's something quite peculiar,
Something that's shimmering and white.
Leads you here despite your destination,
Under the Milky Way tonight

The Church

July 14, 2005

Hot town, summer in the city
Back of my neck getting dirty and gritty
Been down, isn't it a pity
Doesn't seem to be a shadow in the city

All around, people looking half dead
Walking on the sidewalk, hotter than a match head

But at night it's a different world
Go out and find a girl
Come-on come-on and dance all night
Despite the heat it'll be alright

And babe, don't you know it's a pity
That the days can't be like the nights
In the summer, in the city
In the summer, in the city

Cool town, evening in the city
Dressing so fine and looking so pretty
Cool cat, looking for a kitty
Gonna look in every corner of the city
Till I'm wheezing like a bus stop
Running up the stairs, gonna meet you on the rooftop

But at night it's a different world
Go out and find a girl
Come-on come-on and dance all night
Despite the heat it'll be alright

And babe, don't you know it's a pity
That the days can't be like the nights
In the summer, in the city
In the summer, in the city

Hot town, summer in the city
Back of my neck getting dirty and gritty
Been down, isn't it a pity
Doesn't seem to be a shadow in the city

All around, people looking half dead
Walking on the sidewalk, hotter than a match head

But at night it's a different world
Go out and find a girl
Come-on come-on and dance all night
Despite the heat it'll be alright

And babe, don't you know it's a pity
That the days can't be like the nights
In the summer, in the city
In the summer, in the city

The Lovin' Spoonful

January 12, 2006

I'm back on board that '49 Ford in 1956
Long before the sun came up way out in the sticks
The headlight showed a two rut roadway
Back up in the pines
First time I heard Johnny Cash
Sing I Walk The Line

I got my thrill behind the wheel upon my daddys lap
Grandpa rode co-pilot with a flashlight and a map
Cane pole out the window it was in the summertime
First time I heard Johnny Cash
Sing I Walk The Line


I keep a close watch on this heart of mine
I keep my eyes wide open all the time
I keep the ends out for the tie that binds
Because you're mine, I Walk The Line

I never will forget that day,I know the time and place,
Sounded like the whole thing came right down from outer space,
I still can see those headlights and that dashboard in my mind,
The first time I heard Johnny Cash sing I walk the line.


I find it very very easy to be true,
I find myself alone when each day's through,
Yes I'll admit that I'm a fool for you,
Because you're mine, I walk the line

All these long years later it's still music to my ears
I swear it sounds as good right now as anything I hear
I've seen the Mona Lisa
I've heard Shakespear read real fine
Just like hearing Johnny Cash
Sing I Walk The Line


As sure as night is dark and day is light
I keep you on my mind both day and night
And happiness I've know proves that it's right
Because you're mine, I Walk The Line

Because you're mine, I Walk The Line

Rodney Codwell, I Walk the Line (Revisited)

January 29, 2006

I wonder where you are this morning
I wonder what you're doing
Besides in thoughts and broken dreams
My bankrupt heart's construing

Holding you was never quite as nice
As is the memory
I wish that I could see that then
What now my eyes are forced to see

If I could go back in time
I know what I would do
I'd dropped my mask and all my lies
With all my might
To hold on tight
To you
To you
I would hold on
To you

Drowning in my useless sorrow
Thinking of what could have been
Tortured by these feverish thoughts of never and again
I'd die to stare into your eyes
And scream that I'm in love
But I'm not so sure that love's in me
Or anything
That's worth your thinking of

But I would hold on
I would hold on
To you
To you

But there's just one thing that's puzzling me
I wonder where you are this morning
I wonder what you're doing

Rorschach Test, Hold

February 2, 2006

And so she woke up
Woke up from where she was
Lying still
Said I gotta do something
About where we're going

Step on a steam train
Step out of the driving rain, maybe
Run from the darkness in the night
Singing ha, ah la la la de day
Ah la la la de day
Ah la la de day

Sweet the sin
Bitter taste in my mouth
I see seven towers
But I only see one way out

You got to cry without weeping
Talk without speaking
Scream without raising your voice

You know I took the poison
From the poison stream
Then I floated out of here
Singing...ha la la la de day
Ha la la la de day
Ha la la de day

She runs through the streets
With her eyes painted red
Under black belly of cloud in the rain
In through a doorway she brings me
White gold and pearls stolen from the sea
She is raging
She is raging
And the storm blows up in her eyes
She will...

Suffer the needle chill
She's running to stand...

Still.

Running to Stand Still, U2

February 5, 2006

I've been watching all the time
And I still can't find the tack
And I wanna know is it okay
Is it just fine
Was it my fault
Is it my lack

I don't understand about
The weather outside
The harbinger to the words
Somebody lied
There's solace a bit in submitting
To the fitfully cryptically true
What's happened has happened
What's coming is already on its way
With a role for me to play

I don't understand
I'll never understand
But I'm trying to understand
There's nothing else I can do

Fiona Apple, Red, Red, Red

April 24, 2006

Lord, she's restless
Like cotton candy clouds that sail the day
Slow an' free
And she possesses
A mind that can't resign itself to stay
For long with me
Tho' I've tried and tried to keep her tied and satisfied
Until she really needs me
Yes I do
But when that certain look comes on her face
I can't replace it, and she leaves me

CHORUS:
She's a butterfly in mid July
Who just can't wait to try her brand new wings
On brand new things
And she needs no rhyme or reason, when she goes
Her mind is on what lies beyond that wall of blue horizon
I suppose
And heaven knows
She'll go sailin' off on any old wind that blows
Yes she will, yes she will
She'll go sailin' off on any old wind that blows

I know she needs me
About as much as I need someone else
Which I don't
And if need be
I swear someday I'll up and leave myself
Which I won't
Even if she loved another man, I'd understand it more than I do
Mmm, mmm, mmm
But I know the only reason
That she ever had for leavin', is she wants to

-- Johnny Cash

January 1, 2008

A long december and there's reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last
I can't remember the last thing that you said as you were leaving
Now the days go by so fast

And it's one more day up in the canyons
And it's one more night in Hollywood
If you think that I could be forgiven... I wish you would

The smell of hospitals in winter
And the feeling that it's all a lot of oysters, but no pearls
All at once you look across a crowded room
To see the way that light attaches to a girl

And it's one more day up in the canyons
And it's one more night in hollywood
If you think you might come to california... I think you should

Drove up to hillside manor sometime after two A.M.
And talked a little while about the year
I guess the winter makes you laugh a little slower,
Makes you talk a little lower about the things you could not show her

And its been a long december and there's reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last
I can't remember all the times I tried to tell my myself
To hold on to these moments as they pass

And it's one more day up in the canyon
And it's one more night in hollywood
It's been so long since I've seen the ocean... I guess I should

Counting Crows